Would you date a guy who has paid for sex? Sex Editor Gemma Askham finds out.

I'm in the street in Amsterdam, face glowing red under the fluorescent bulbs of the sex shops. Stag parties stagger and leer past; families who realise they are definitely not at the Anne Frank House speed through; inside one window, a woman stands in her underwear. Behind her, a bed covered in a crunchy, wipe-clean sheet, is waiting. Anyone - your boyfriend, brother, dad - could walk in, hop on, and carry on with their day.

Your instinct is, "No, not mine". But a study of 6000 British men found that of the 1 in 10 who had paid for sex, the biggest purchaser group was our boyfriends - that is, unmarried men aged 25-34.

So, what if your boyfriend had? Could you ignore a (paid-for) skeleton in his closet? Would it turn you off? Or is an escort simply a one-night stand by another name? We got your thoughts on the most loaded confession of all…

"I have dated someone who paid for sex. When we got together he said he didn't want to hide anything, so he laid everything out on the table: that he'd taken drugs, he'd cheated, and he'd cheated with a prostitute. It happened in his early twenties and he said it was a horrible, soulless experience that he never wished to repeat. I actually respected his honesty in laying it bare; it felt good to have all the potential past nasties out in the open. Given that we'd both been tested for STIs, I had no worries." Jen, 28

"I worry about the justification when men say, 'It's just sex'. I could be in the biggest dry spell of my life, literally years, and I still wouldn't pay for sex. It wouldn't even cross my mind to pay for sex. If someone cannot function without buying sex, that makes me panic. What if we dated and I got ill and couldn't have sex for a while? Or after I gave birth? Would he wait, or would he go and pay a stranger again?" Terri, 28

"When you meet someone new, their sexual past - or their past in general - may contain details that you don't like. I defend anyone's right to leave the past behind. Even good people do unpleasant or misjudged things. If it was a one-off, during a period of their life that they've now left behind, then it shouldn't define their morality now. I judge a new partner on the version in front of me." Anna, 31

"It would massively change my opinion of my boyfriend. Even if I found out that he'd seen a stripper on a stag do I would be disappointed. I feel like it debases women and sex. All the things that go along with prostitution - taking advantage of someone's desperation, underage girls, a lack of consent - make me very unhappy." Siobhan, 33

Is it really much different to sexting a stranger or getting kicks from a webcam?

"If it's something they did in the past and regret, then it's easier to overlook. If they are totally OK with it and would do it again, that makes it much harder to accept." Chloe, 30

"It's harsh, but it would definitely be a deal-breaker for me. The idea of someone paying for sex is just off-putting. It means they willingly had sex with someone who didn't really want to have sex with them, but did it as a job (most probably because they didn't have a choice). The fact that a guy would know that, and yet still go ahead with it, doesn't seem right. It's selfish." Robyn, 32

It's pretty savage - surely we can do better?

"I might look at it in a strange way, but I'm not offended by the idea of someone paying for sex. It's casual, there are no feelings, there's no intimacy - in my opinion, there's nothing threatening there. Is it really much different to sexting a stranger or getting kicks from a webcam? I feel more intimidated about a boyfriend having had a great love - someone who he was with for years, who really left a mark on his life. That's what's unnerving to me." Katie, 24

"If they'd paid for sex within the last five years, I couldn't date them. I find it deeply unattractive. It undermines all of a man's masculinity and is almost pity inducing. Once in their twenties, men should be assured enough to resist peer pressure - even in stag situations. But I have male friends who say - at least in their social circle - it's not uncommon for men to visit prostitutes to lose their virginity. Kind of a rite of passage. And that wouldn't trouble me." Maria, 27

"I'm not sure I could marry or have kids with someone who thought it was OK to pay for sex, or even to pay to watch women get naked. It's pretty savage - surely we can do better? I know about most of my previous partners' 'experiences' - and while it will never sit well for me, the past belongs to them." Erin, 30

WHAT'S GOING THROUGH HIS MIND WHEN HE'S PAYING FOR IT...

The Sunday Times Style coloumnist and comedian, Andrew Clover tells us about the time he paid for sex.

"It's sunny, I'm 16, and my friend Simon and I are walking through Amsterdam. We turn a corner and someone smiles at me - a blonde in a bikini. Her smile says, 'isn't this fun?'

We walk on down alleyways filled with sultry women, until Simon sees a sexy minx sitting in a window. "It's got to be her," he says, and bravely approaches.

Now I'm alone. I could go back to our hostel. Or, I could have sex with the blonde woman. She's the best. Everyone must want her. I jog back, thinking, 'Please be there.' I see her back and waist and I think, 'You're fantastic.' But as she turns, her smile is gone.

She checks the cash, then slips off her bra and, oh my God, she has beautiful breasts. I love her.

"Would…?" I begin. "We don't talk," she says. Inside a doorway, she says, "Fucky or sucky. With plastic. Forty guilder."

Why has she suddenly turned so cold? "You have money?" Oh, I have money. I've counted it. "Upstairs," she says, and leads me up to a pine room with a sink and a bed. She gestures to it and disappears into a cubicle. I undress.

She comes back in. "Forty guilder?" "Yes…" I fetch it. I'm being an efficient, helpful client, albeit one with a giant erection. She checks the cash, then slips off her bra and, oh my God, she has beautiful breasts. I love her.

"Lie back," she says. I lie back on my elbows. She sits beside me, and rolls the condom on. "Fucky or sucky" she asks. "Fucky," I say, but it sounds so babyish. It's like saying "I want cuddles."

"Tell me when you feel something," she says, now masturbating me. I'm about to come. "I feel something!" "Oh," she says. What does she expect? She's a naked woman, I'm 16 and I've been sharing a sleeping bag in Holland, so no wanking has occurred.

In that short space of time, something has been lost.

She stands, whips down her pants, then sits on me. I can't feel much. Even so… She's before me and she's lovely. I try to kiss her. She turns her cheek. I kiss her breasts.

"I don't like it," she says. Oh. I lean back. We're together. We're doing this. She thrusts twice. I come.

But that's OK for her. Right? She doesn't mind. She looks at me with undisguised hostility. She climbs off, and I don't see her again until I'm dressed and back in the street. "Erm," I say. "Thank you."

She gives the smallest hint of a smile but it's nothing compared to the happy one earlier. That was only 20 minutes ago but, in that short space of time, something has been lost."

Andrew's most recent novel The Things I'd Miss is out now. Click here to visit his website.

Have a sex question or topic you'd like to know more about? Our sex editor, Gemma, would love to hear from you. Email her at glamoursexeditor@condenast.co.uk.

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