This article contains references to sexual abuse and rape.
Last week, erotic hypnosis hit the headlines following allegations that the “Bambi Sleep files” that were used as a tool to control victims and erode their consent (via Buzzfeed News).
The Bambi Sleep files are a collection of ‘intense feminisation and bimbofication hypnosis’ recordings designed to turn the listener into a ‘bimbo girl’ called Bambi, which were used by the alleged perpetrator, James*.
It left me wanting to know more about the general practice of erotic hypnosis – whether it can ever be a ‘safe’ kink and how some of the victims feel about it as a practice.
To first understand what erotic hypnosis is, it's key to establish a base knowledge about hypnosis. Helen Birch, a sex therapist and clinical hypnotherapist, tells GLAMOUR that “Hypnosis is a mental state of intense concentration. In this state, a person is fully conscious and alert to their surroundings. They tend to be more open to suggestions than when they are not in a hypnotic state.
"However, the person being hypnotized must give their consent, and the hypnotherapist does not have control over their mind. It's a cooperative process. Hypnosis involves the conscious mind taking a backseat and letting the subconscious take over, making the hypnotee more open to suggestions than they would be in their normal state.”
Birch defines erotic hypnosis as the use of hypnosis in a sexual or arousing context, which can intersect with sensuality and sexuality in various ways, including:
Stimulating arousal and/or desire
“Sexual desire and arousal are emotional states; the mind feels them, and the body produces the physical responses. Since hypnosis works primarily on the subconscious mind, it's very easy to cause someone to become aroused or to feel sexual desire by suggestion.”
Sensation play
“Hypnosis is often used medically to reduce sensation, specifically pain. It can also be used to amplify sensation, either pain or pleasurable sensations.”
Body control
“The subconscious mind controls the body, so hypnosis can easily alter the way the body moves, holds itself or reacts to commands.”
Transformations and roleplay
“You can play out an entire roleplay fantasy with someone in hypnosis, imagining that they really are the role they portray, while their subconscious knows who they really are.”
Memory play
“Forgetting who you are, where you are etc.”
Orgasms
“Hypnosis can be used to induce hypnotic orgasms, or orgasm on command.”
Birch explains that an erotic hypnosis scene usually follows a specific sequence “with some variation depending on the participants' existing relationship and habits:”
“The first step is negotiation, where both the hypnotist and the hypnotee discuss and agree on the scene's details, including informed consent and boundaries. Once the parameters are established, the hypnosis process is straightforward. The hypnotist uses induction to put the hypnotee in a trance and then provides suggestions for the scene or post-hypnotic instructions for later. It's crucial to ensure that the hypnotee feels good when coming out of hypnosis and to complete aftercare properly.”
Ava* and Abbey* spoke with me on Zoom, following the Buzzfeed article, about their experience and the alleged abuse they faced at the hands of *James [all names have been changed]. They are now roommates and cite the community they’ve found as the only positive takeaway of their experience “It's kind of cool that now we do have this support network and also friends.”
Ava (she/they) tells me that she has started to make files of their own since the abuse, “I made a couple that reinforces Bambi's ability to set boundaries and to say no. And positive affirmations that reinforce things for confidence.”
Telling me that the original Bambi files reinforce a person’s self-image with anxiety, “You always have to look perfect. You always have to have your makeup done. I think for me that creating files that do the opposite of what those files do it's been very cathartic and therapeutic, and it's helped me get into hypnosis again. And I feel like I'm helping my friends.”
Ava hasn’t left the Reddit thread and takes an active role as a moderator because they wanted to make it safe for others, “I decided to stay because I realised ‘if I'm not there, who's gonna be there?’ I can create a place where people can talk about anything. Encourage people to talk about the safeties, and we post resources. What happens if someone like my hypnotist is in charge of that space? That’s my biggest fear.”
“I think erotic hypnotism, like as a whole, can be engaged in healthy, safe and sane ways. And it's very fun,” says Ava.
“I don't want people using what happened to us as a way to try to demonise or bash erotic hypnosis as a kink.”
“It can be therapeutic for some people, even though it's not therapy and shouldn't be used as a replacement for therapy. It can just feel good, and it's a great way to escape. And I don't want people using what happened to us as a way to try to demonise or bash erotic hypnosis as a kink.
"Because what happened to us was a combination of an abusive man using files that are scripted to erode someone's consent. And that combination of things is what led to that happening. Some people do listen to the Bambi files, and they don't have a bad experience. I feel like the files are unsafe based on the way that they're scripted. And I wouldn't listen to them if I had known that before.”
Ava doesn’t think that the Bambi files can just be ‘taken away’, “You can't erase them from the internet. People are gonna find these files, and they're gonna listen to them, and some people are gonna have a good experience. I don't know what else to do with that other than to say putting resources out there. So, at least if people decide to listen because they see people having good experiences, they can make an informed decision about it.”
Abbey is similarly still active in the erotic hypnosis scene, “I'm regularly re-traumatizing myself. It’s [erotic hypnosis is] my main source of income right now. And so I can't really pull back. But I love erotic hypnosis. It's sexy.”
“I don't think that the Bambi files are super safe to engage with,” Ava tells me. “I think they have a lot of issues, a lot of boundary-pushing, consent, violating issues, and a lot of also problematic features like personality destruction, et cetera. But the thing that I do like is the community, which is fantastic. That little Bambi community is great.”
Ava and Abbey both felt that the banning of the term ‘erotic hypnosis’ in Big Porn, pushes it to the fringes and makes it less safe, because people will still do it but without the necessary knowledge or support.
“There's no dogma to the erotic hypnosis community. I think that everyone sharing their own personal experiences - what went wrong, the aftercare methods, the consent methods, or what's your established dynamic – that information is important in order to play safely,” says Ava.
Many people have positive experiences with erotic hypnosis, but there are always risks involved, given the nature of this kink.
Birch believes it is possible to engage in erotic hypnosis safely, with informed consent and awareness of the potential risks involved. “Erotic hypnosis is considered a form of edge play, which means there is a possibility of unexpected outcomes. It is important for both parties to acknowledge the possibility of things not going as planned and trust each other to handle any situation that may arise in a mature and responsible manner,” adding that “Mistakes can happen, but it is up to the individuals involved to take responsibility and work towards a resolution.”
An educator in the erotic hypnosis community, known as sleepingirl, who has 13 years of experience, tells me that “Hypnosis is a core part of my life and my real-life relationships. It is critical to note that Bambi Sleep is a tiny part of an intensely broad hypnokink space that extends to offline public events such as conferences, local classes, private gatherings, and personal partnerships – but also a large and exponentially growing section of the internet on forums like Reddit, social media sites like Twitter and Tumblr, and an enormous amount of Discord servers. The community is not a monolith.”
They feel that erotic hypnosis absolutely can be safe because “Abusers are going to be abusers in any context and in any community – whether they are kinky, interested in hypnosis, or simply the wrong person you meet on Tinder.
"Hypnosis is not mind control and hypnosis does not operate on some principle guaranteeing automatic safety; both of these things are true. As with any sexual interaction, it carries some risk as an activity itself, and it also carries the risk of meeting someone who is malicious,” explains sleepingirl.
**For more information about emotional abuse and domestic violence, you can call The Freephone National Domestic Abuse Helpline, run by Refuge on 0808 2000 247. **
For more information about reporting and recovering from rape and sexual abuse, you can contact Rape Crisis.
If you have been sexually assaulted, you can find your nearest Sexual Assault Referral Centre here. You can also find support at your local GP, voluntary organisations such as Rape Crisis, Women's Aid, and Victim Support, and you can report it to the police (if you choose) here.
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